Emotional? Definitly!

Every member of my family cried yesterday!

Let me explain....

Handsome had a horrible day at work yesterday. I mean awful. One of his carriers returned from a weeklong vacation and called 30 minutes into the route and said he wasn't feeling well, his legs were numb, and he needed to go home. Josh went and picked him up (literally off someones porch) and took him home. On the way Josh asked if he needed an ambulance. The guy insisted his wife was a nurse and that she was waiting to take him to the hospital. Josh drove him home and went back to work. Around 3:15 the guy called and said they couldn't find anything wrong with him and he was feeling better so he would be back at work the following day. Great.

Around 6:30 Josh arrives home from work and within 3 minutes of walking in the door he got a text message that made him ill.

That guy DIED. Apparently he had a blood clot in his leg that went to his heart and he died. Josh was a wreck. I mean completely beside himself. He cried, multiple times. It was awful.

Then...

Maddie and Kate had been fighting ALL. DAY. LONG.

After 4 time outs and three "GO TO YOUR ROOMS" we decided to have a super early bedtime which resulted in more fits and time outs.

Having a 3 year old is EXHAUSTING. Having 2 is worse.

Then...

Josh was so upset he needed to get out of the house. He asked me to ask my Mom (at 10:00 at night) to please come up and sit with the girls while we took a drive.

OK

When we returned at 11:00 Jaycie was still awake.

Ya see... We've been having this problem with Jaycie ever since we tried moving her back to her own bed after Amy & Spencer left, that she can't do it. She can't sleep more than 20 minutes without waking up.

*Side note: Jaycie is the worst napper EVER, 40 minute naps are a HUGE Victory!

The night before last she woke up every hour. (Not kidding, I looked a wreck from lack of sleep) I decided then we needed to be strict about sleep training. For some reason Jaycie's cry affects me so much. I can't stand it. She cries, I cry, it's a cycle. So I knew this would be tough, but crazy mommy needed some sleep so she wouldn't become out of control mommy.

I nursed her, rocked her, laid her down. She cried. I sang. She cried. I sang and talked. She cried.

10 minutes go by and she's hysterical. Clawing at her crib trying to get to me.

It was torcher.

I pick her up, nurse her, rock her, pat her, bounce her.

She's asleep, I put her down.

She cries and I leave.

She cries, I cry. (Like fetal possition, curse this method, beat myself up about what a horrible mother I am.)

She cries, I cry.

8 minutes pass and she's quiet.

I listen and I hear her babbling. After 10 minutes she starts crying again.

5 minutes pass and she cries and I cry.

Then silence.

She fell asleep. I was awake most of the night watching her, listening to her breathe. When Handsome got up for work I asked him to grab her for me so I could snuggle her. She's never slept 6 hours straight before.

We snuggled and I slept and she slept.

When morning came I kept looking at her. Thinking to myself I had somehow destroyed this perfect relationship I had with my baby. Watching for the smile she gives only to me, I thought it would never come; but it did.

She forgave me, now I just have to forgive myself and do it all again tonight.