Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Heros

Atop my list of heros, you will find people like my Savior Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, Grandpa, and Handsome, all are extremely selfless people; and although I love these men this post isn't about them. I recently found out that a friend of mine is going to be adopting a baby in January. She and her husband have been waiting a long time for a child and after a few failed attempts at IVF and many thousands of dollars in doctor bills she's finally getting her baby.

For those of you who don't know, although most of you probably do, I am adopted. I have not really made it a well known fact and unless you are in my family you probably haven't heard me talk about it much. It's extremely personal for me but not in the sense that it's embarrassing. Quite the opposite in fact. It's an emotional subject and rarely do I think about it anymore and avoid my faulty tear ducts.

Seeing as I am expecting my babies in the near future my thoughts have been with my biological mother quite a bit, who is also on my list of heros. I have no idea who she is and to be honest I've never felt the need to know. I have developed this new appreciation for her and what she gave up for me. She wrote me a letter telling me that she loved me and the reason she gave me up was because she knew I deserved a better life then the one she could have provided for me. She didn't even hold me at the hospital because she said she couldn't have gone through with it. I cannot imagine the strength it must have taken for her to nurture me and feel me move and then to give me away, it's one of the most selfless acts I can think of. She had no idea who my parents would be or what kind of family I would have but for some reason she knew I was not meant to be hers and for that I am grateful.

So although I have no real need to meet her, I believe I will get the chance when I get to heaven. And when I do I'm sure the only words I will be able to get out will be Thank You.

4 comments:

mom said...

Amber, I have always said that, she was amazing! I am so gratful and so blessed that she gave me the opportunity to have you in my life. In my blessing that I had from Elder Richards, he said that I would get a baby and then I would have a baby. I know from the minute that I saw you, you were mine! That you were the baby that I was to get. You are the reason that I was able to have two sisters for you. I truely hope that someday in the next life I will be able to give her a huge and thank her for my beautiful daughter that I have, and for giving me this wonderful gift (YOU). I will never be able to thank her the way I feel about want she did for me. For giving me this great gift, a DAUGHTER!!
I know that this would have been the hardest thing that she has ever done, and I have said before I don't think that I could have ever done want she did. She is a special person. Thank You Amber, for being part of my life and for being my daughter for all eternity. You are so special, Thank you for these two beautiful daughters that you have. I am so excited to share them and show them how much I love them already. To teach them how special their parents are.
Thank you for all you do.
Love your
Mom

Rissy & Spence said...

Amber, Thanks for sharing this with ur friends & family. I hope someday that I will be a parent, their is only one who knows it is our Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ. I am so gr8ful for this gospel, & friends I have made are the right one. Families are Forever. Take care have super week, & Happy Halloween too. TTYL ur friend, Marissa & Spencer

Manda Jane Clawson said...

Adoption is such a beautiful and selfless act! I have many people in my life who have been adopted, have given babies up for adoption, and have been on the receiving end of little miracles they could not have themselves. I have nothing but the up most respect for women like your birth mom. Thank you for sharing this post! What a special experience it will be when you do meet her for the first time on the other side and she can see the effects her decision has had on your life!

Manda Jane Clawson said...

Hey Amber, sorry I wasn't able to make it to your shower last week. I gave Alli a gift for you tho!