It Was a Sad Day at the Gubler House

We had a really hard day yesterday. My brother, Kyle, and his sweet wife, Andrea, have been trying to adopt a baby. They've been married just over 5 years and have been struggling with infertility (We know all about that at our house so we can empathize). Anyway, about 5 months ago a potential birth mother contacted them about possibly placing with them. They got together and after the first meeting that girl expressed the desire for Kyle and Andrea to adopt her baby.

 

Everything seemed to be going well. Kyle and Andrea went to all the appointments and ultrasounds, they were there when she found out the baby was a boy, they kept in constant contact with this girl, J. J seemed so confident that this baby wasn't hers and Kyle and Andrea had no reason to think otherwise. Since J is still in High School and wanted to walk on graduation day, she decided to be induced yesterday.

Here is the excerpt from Andrea's adoption blog...

We always knew that this could happen but we decided to let go and let ourselves love J and that little man freely without protecting ourselves. It was our decision and we don't take it back. Today J was scheduled to be induced at 7:15 am. We loaded up the car with our adorable car seat and diaper bag with the cutest little outfit ready to meet and take a baby boy home. We arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am and waited for J to arrive. Time pasted and she still hadn't arrived. We called and texted her asking if she was ok with no answer or response. We waited for an hour and a half in that waiting room hoping that she had just over slept, but knowing what was really happening. I called our caseworker who told us that this probably meant that J had changed her mind. We already knew that, but we didn't want to admit it. That is when we left the hospital. On the way out I lost it. So many thoughts were going through my mind, but the biggest one was just sadness. I was supposed to be leaving with a son that I have loved for 5 months. We were heart broken. Later our caseworker called saying that J's caseworker had finally found out that J went to the hospital and told the hospital social worker that she couldn't go through with the adoption and to not let us know that she was there. It is over.
We have loved this girl with open hearts and I wish that I could hate her right now, but I don't. I'm just heart broken. I can't help but hope the best for J and her little family. I hope that everything works out for her and that she is at peace with the choice she has made. Now we just have to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. We are starting by going on vacation, we don't know where yet, but we need to have some alone time before returning to work.
We want to thank everyone for your support during our journey. Our journey isn't over yet, we still need to find our family. Please keep posting our information and passing out our pass along cards to help us get our info out there.

It broke my heart. I can't imagine the ache they must be feeling. It's as if he died but there is no grave to mourne at. For the rest of my life May 30th will be known as the day we should have had a new life born into our family; but didn't.

I wont pretend like I understand either side of the situation. I know that I could never give my baby up and I have nothing but respect for those mothers who can. I, myself, was given up for adoption by my biological mother. I met my Mom and Dad when I was two days old and I have always felt that this is the family I'm suppose to be in.

I guess, like Andrea said, now we have to pick up the peices of our broken hearts and move forward. Do what we can to help them find their family.

And we will!

Memorial Day 2013

This year we were so busy on Memorial Day Weekend. On Friday I took the girls to the cemetary to visit the graves of my Grandma and Grandpa Jensen. Aunt Cheryl and Grandma Karen came with us. We got some pretty flowers to put on their headstones and the girls gathered some pine cones to decorate. I don't thing the girls understood that Grandma Jensen was dead because later on Katie told me that "Grandma Jensen and Aunt Cheryl live at the Cemetary".

 

Josh and I went out on Friday with some friends and saw Star Trek: Into the Darkness. We snuck in Cafe Rio and loved the show.

On Saturday Josh had to work late and so we mostly lounged around and then Linden and Shannon came over for dinner and a movie. Since they live in Phoenix we only get to see them about 2 times a year. It was fun to have them in our home.

On Sunday Maddie woke up not feeling well and so Josh stayed home with her and Jaycie while Katie and I went to church. I had to teach that day and ended up having three extra kids in my class; but everything worked out. That evening we went over to Allison and Aarons for a BBQ and finished up with an outside movie at Tonja & James' house with Nate's Family and Linden's Family. It was a blast.

Monday morning we got up early and went out with the Masina's, Nate's Family, Linden's Family, and Grandpa Gubler to Ensign Peak. It's about 1/2 mile hike (totally uphill) but the view is spectacular. I thought I was going to kill over on the way up but Josh was patient and kept me going. It felt good to make it and now I have a renewed desire to get in shape as soon as Jaycie is done nursing and I can focus on myself a little more.

 

 Grandpa and the grandkids!

 

 The Group!



The Month of May

So life sortof got away from me this month. We spent a lot of time outdoors since the weather has been so nice. We...

 

Went to the Zoo (twice)

 Jaycie Loved the Bird Show

 This is Zuri the baby elephant. We learned that there are three elephants at the zoo, all are female, and the oldest one is 57 (which happens to be the oldest elephant on the North American Continent).

 The girls really wanted to give the bird a dollar for the show.

 

 The second time we went Daddy came with us. We finally got to see the bears and the tigers.

 

 

 

We also played in Grandma Karen's backyard.

 

 

 

Jaycie tried her first Rhubarb and Loved it.

 

We went to the park and had some BBQ's, played with friends and made a new playroom in the basement for all our toys. We've had fun spending time together and are so excited for summer to get here.

Family Update May 2013

Josh is having quite the exciting month. He turned 30 this month and we have invited 100 people over to our house this saturday for a BBQ in celebration of such an occasion. He has been working towards a promotion for quite a while now (like 2 years) and on his birthday the postmaster called to tell him he was the new supervisor at Holladay. To say he was thrilled was an understatement. The man couldn't stop smiling, all day. For his birthday we went to the Sand Dunes and has so much fun. Josh took the girls and I on 4 wheeler rides, played in the sand, and hung out with some great friends. He's still serving in Scouts and so usually on Wednesday nights he's gone but they've called a new guy in our ward to work with Josh and they seem to get along really well so he's excited. Josh spent most of the last two weeks putting in our yard and although it's not totally complete it looks amazing.

Amber is currently trying to save money and pay off debt. I spend time each week going over our debt payoff plan and trying to stick religiously to our budget. So far things are on track and going well. My attempts to spend more time working on myself are getting spoiled by kids who need to much attention and a baby that refuses to sleep through the night. So I'm usually functioning on less than 5-6 hours of sleep (not consecutively either). I've signed the girls up for swimming lessons again and we are trying to spend as much time during the day with friends at playgroups as we can. I'm trying to put together a "plan" for our weeks so that I can start teaching the girls things again (since I fell off the teaching wagon when Jaycie was born) and we can have a more structured day. I'm excited for summer and although I was planning to get going on my garden that isn't going to happen since we are out of money for the yard. That will most likely have to wait until next year. Bummer.

Madisyn got a hair cut this month. Nothing drastic, just a couple inches. I was starting to notice her hair getting into everything and never looking super healthy and clean towards the bottom. We chopped a little off and now it looks amazing. She has started to throw fits everytime we go to a store because she thinks she has to get something (I love my Mom but I blame her for this) and I have had to leave no less than 3 stores in the past week because of a meltdown. She's looking forward to preschool and she seems to enjoy swimming lessons although she's affraid to put her face in the water. I feel like we will be on level 1 FOREVER. She is extremely observant and isn't affraid to talk to adults about the things she knows or observes. She's quite obsessed with the bathroom sink and I'm constantly finding things wet that shouldn't be (like play dishes or mini dorito bags). She loves to sing primary songs and insists on saying the prayer for every meal and at bedtime.

Katie is a sweet sassy thing. She's started this thing where she likes to contradict, talk back to me, and use her "selective hearing" to ignore me when I'm speaking to her. I bust out the "do you want hot sauce on your tongue" at least 2 times a day, and although I've never done it, she's affraid of it. She's very into her friends right now and is constantly talking about her best friend Jane or Maisie but when she sees them she barely talks to them. Whatever. Katie loves swimming lessons and I'm pretty sure she'll pass this time around I can't move her up without Maddie so we shall see in a couple weeks where we are with that. She loves playing outside and has a really great tan right now. Everyone notices it and comments how brown her skin is. I guess that comes from her Dad's 1/64 indian blood or something. Kate is loving her primary teacher and she's doing better with staying in her seat during sharing time.

Jaycie turned 9 months old this month. I can't believe my baby is almost not a baby anymore. She's still not sleeping through the night but I have her down to approximately 2 feedings a night and she's spending the first half in her crib. I just don't have the heart to let her cry it out. I mean, no ones 10 year old still sleeps with them right? She's crawling all over and pulling up to everything. I swear she thinks she can do whatever her sisters can. She's started waving upsidedown and saying "HI" to every baby or little kid she sees. She's on a baby food strike still and so I've pretty much given up on it. She eats mostly finger foods and breastmilk. No mushy baby food for her, and don't even think about Oatmeal. She cries like you poisened her. I'm thinking we are going to need to get her a new car seat soon. At her well child check she was 18 lbs and 28 inches long. Her hair is still not growing very fast no matter how much I will it to but we work with what we have and although she hates the flower headbands I still put them on her.

Cindy's Cinnamon Rolls, YUMMY!

It's currently 3:46 a.m. here.

What, may you ask, am I doing?

Only making the yummiest cinnamon rolls ever for Handsome to take to work on his last day as supervisor at Sugarhouse.

So since I'm trying to avoid my bed, since I KNOW I will fall asleep and ruin the masterpeice, I decided to share it with all of you.

Now this is a commitment. You will have mountains of dishes and need about 5 hours to complete the task; but let me tell you......It's WORTH IT.

Cindy's Cinnamon Rolls

Mix:
1/4 c. warm water
2 T. Yeast
                    Set aside
In a pan heat: (until sugar dissolves)
1 1/2 c. Hot Water
1/2 c. Sugar
1 cube Butter
1 tsp. Salt
                    Remove from heat and let cool slightly
In a large mixing bowl combine:
1 can Evaporated Milk
4 Eggs, beaten
     
When cool enough add all ingredients together

Then add:
4 c. Flour
           Beat well with a mixmaster
Add 3-4 c. more flour one at a time beating in between.
                        Let Rise for 1-2 hours

Shape dough into cinnamon rolls, dinner rolls, etc and let rise an additional 1-2 hours

*When making cinnamon rolls always add brown sugar to the sugar/cinnamon mixture. Makes all the difference.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

Frost with your favorite frosting.

Voila! Enjoy.