Confession!

For as long as I have been married I've had "mom" friends. Some of my Mom friends used to talk about needing breaks from their kids and time for themselves and girl weekends; I never understood this. I was like why the heck do you need a break, you asked for those babies?

Then I had my own kids.

When my twins were babies I worked part time, then I would come home and do the Mom thing and be fine. I did this until right before their 2nd birthday when I found out I was pregnant with my third child. So I took the plunge and quit my job.

I was now a stay-at-home mom. It was great. Plenty of time to clean and cook and teach them their ABC's, or so I thought. I now know that staying at home is much more work than I ever imagined. It's constant cleaning, cooking, changing, wiping of all things gross, scheduling, refereeing, teaching, loving only to do it all over again the following day. I feel like I hardly ever get anything achomplished because once I finish in one room it becomes a disaster in 6 seconds flat.

Handsome is wonderful, he never says anything about the house being messy or dinner not being done. For the most part I think I handle the running of the house well. Usually my house is at least presentable enough to have me not be completely mortified if people come over, and ususally I make dinner although I allow for one night out per week, and usually no one has to wear dirty clothes because normally I wash,dry, and fold the laundry.

Normally!

But I've found that I've become so absorbed in taking care of the kids and the house and the food that I've forgot about ME! I feel like if I take my one night a month off for book club I'm neglecting my family and being selfish.

I understand now. I'm putting it out there. I AM going to attempt to be SELFISH. (that feels awful)

I need to rethink my priorities and put myself closer to the top. I think I get grumpier and yell more when I feel tired, overweight, lacking in spiritual upliftment, like my friendships are slacking, putting aside things I love to do like reading and scrapbooking then not being able to remember the last time I did those things. I'm hopeful that if I put spiritual and physical wellbeing as a priority it will make me a better wife and mother.

Here goes nothing!